How do I prepare for Cincinnati?

I have been asked many times over the past few weeks if I am "ready", or "excited" to go to Cincinnati. I usually respond, "Yes!" or "I'm getting there."
The real answer is that I am excited to finally find answers for Ethan, however I am very nervous about the entire experience. I have come to realize that I have many emotional scars from the first year of Ethan's life.

I will never forget the night when he was 36 hours old, and the nurse came in to tell me that my little boy was a "very sick baby", and they would need to transfer him to another hospital. I had never been so scared in my life. That is until a few weeks later when he was so sick that they couldn't get an IV into his tiny body. They finally shaved his head to try to put it into his scalp. That didn't work and they had to surgically implant the IV into his leg.
To this day I can't watch a movie, or TV show that depicts an infant in the hospital. (Unless I am looking for a good cry.)
This picture is the day he was blessed at our church, you can see his shaved head.

These memories along with many other difficult situations are the reasons that I am not "excited" to go to Cincinnati. The idea of watching them poke and prod my little boy give me anxiety.

This isn't the main thing though that worries me. What kind of lasting emotional scars does Ethan already have? Will this cause him more scary thoughts and dreams?
When he was almost two he was strong and doing so well physically. One day Ethan and I were shopping with my Mom at a clothing store that had very large fitting rooms. The three of us were in one of these large fitting rooms, and Ethan began to cry uncontrollably. This was out of character for him and I became worried. I held him close and got him to calm down, until an employee knocked on the door to see how the clothes were fitting. Again he became hysterical and could not be calmed down until we left the fitting room. Once we were out he very quickly calmed down. Mom and I realized he must have thought he was in a doctors office. We were in a small room with no windows, a long bench, and someone knocked on the door. For the next few years any time we were in a fitting room, or doctors office he became upset. He still hates fitting rooms, but I think that is because he hates shopping and trying on clothes:)

So back to my original question... how do I prepare for Cincinnati. The answer is God. I know he is the only way my heart can be calmed, and the fears can dissolve. This week I felt the love from my Heavenly Father as I have been preparing. I received a phone call from a family member that reminded me of the power of prayer and fasting. It was just what I needed. We will be having a family fast on Sunday the 6th of March, for anyone that may not already know. I know that as we pray and fast, we will see the blessings. The Lord has a plan for my little family, and I know he loves us.

I am so thankful for so many people thinking of us, praying for us and loving us. I also would like to publicly thank those who have donated on Ethan's behalf. We were given a very generous donation last year, and this is what made it possible for us to take this trip.

It was a gift from God that reminded us that we are being watched over. Thank you to our Angel.

In addition to our first gift, last week we went to the mail and found a check with donations from many other people. Dave's family did a Valentines Day fundraiser to "share love" with Ethan. I was overwhelmed with the love so many people shared. I wish I could express the gratitude I have in my heart.

I began this post last week, and as the days have past I feel that I am "prepared" to leave for Cincinnati. We still need to get packed and finish a few small details. As for being emotionally prepared, I think I am ready.